Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize