Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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