where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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