Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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