I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
