As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize