I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do herpes really smell.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
