One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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