i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
