i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize