ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
