JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
