My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
