My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
