I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
