So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
