Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
