Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
