so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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