sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
