he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
