So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize