your room smells of hookers.
And success
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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