i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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