I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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