I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
