The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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