Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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