Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
