loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
