he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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