Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
