I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
