well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
the raccoons are back...
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