But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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