hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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