She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle