you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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