do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
