In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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