I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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