well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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