1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
