You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
