I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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