none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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