Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
