Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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