he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize