Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
