so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
