this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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