he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
