WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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