it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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