What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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