Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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