That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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