I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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