8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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